The Dangers of Daddy's Office
by Emullz
Summary: Harry Potter's kids have got to be curious about what their Dad is up to at home in his office... right? So what if they break something? And it sends them... far away? NextGen, T just to be safe. Please R&R!
1. My Brother Did This, NOT ME!

Lily:

"James!" I heard my brother Albus yell out as I slipped into the Forbidden Room.

"What!" James yelled back irritably. His girlfriend was in Paris, apparently, seeing if she could transfer to Beauxbatons. I don't see why he's so upset, he always gets another one soon. I heard the mattress creak as he got up to hide from Al.

"James!" I hissed as he passed the Forbidden Door. James whipped his head around. "Idiot, get in here!" A grin spread across his face as he took a step towards the Forbidden Doorway.

"JAMES!" Al roared, thumping down the stairs. Without any hesitation, James slipped in the doorway.

"Hiya, Lills. Fancy meeting you here!" he said cheerfully, pulling the door shut behind him. "Thought Dear Daddy's study was off limits."

"Dad's at the Ministry, chatting with Uncle Percy about some 'Prototype from the office.' I got curious. What'd you do to Al?" I told James, peering out of the doorway.

"Turned his toothbrush to a slug while he brushed his teeth. I thought you were Daddy's little girl?" James mocked.

"Please, James, I'm nearly thirteen. I've got a life to live." I snapped the door shut and made for Dad's desk.

"Yeah, alright, you're almost a beautiful teenager. Doesn't mean you're not a goody-two-shoes," James told me, fingering a family photo from Dad's desk.

"Don't be a two-year-old, I don't have cooties," I teased him, picking up a pretty hourglass necklace.

"Boys have cooties, genius," Al said from the doorway.

"Oh, hello, my beautiful brother whom I love very deeply," James said, backing away slowly. "I know you love me back, sweet brother dear, so don't kill me, because that's what brothers do, they don't kill each oth-"

"Idiot!" I yelled as James backed into me. I staggered back and dropped the necklace onto the wood floor. It shattered, and the pretty multicolored sand from inside swirled around my feet.

"Dammit!" James yelled. "Why'd Dad need to get hardwoods, Mum TOLD him he should get carpet!" I felt a gust of wind overtake me, and I reached out for James on instinct. Albus doesn't like to hit people, so James is the best for protection. On my other side, I felt Al gripping my hand as the wind picked up.

I saw black, then the floor suddenly was farther up then before and my face was pressed to something cold. As I went to look up, I heard someone speaking.

"Who's there?"


	2. All right, people, DON'T KILL ME!

**A/N The order of the POV's is going to be Lily Albus James, but just in case I'll remind you before each chapter.**

Disclaimer: I REALLY DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! That's my disclaimer for all the times I forget. Please don't sue.

Albus:

"Who are you?" a woman with spiky purple hair shouted. James stepped forward and put his hands up. As I watched, scared out of my wits (and yes, I'm not afraid to admit I nearly fainted), James got that look on his face, the kind of look he gets when he's freaking out and goes looking for laughs. I had a funny feeling laughs weren't going to work in this situation, though.

"Well, I'll find out on life's journey, won't I?" James chuckled nervously.

"Oh, I've got a pretty good grip on who I am," Lily said sweetly, smiling up at James. James grinned back.

"And who might that be?" James asked cheekily.

"Your murderer!" Lily screeched, and launched herself at him.

"OI!" I bellowed. Lily and James froze. I'm not much of a yeller, really. "This lady has a wand! Shut up so she doesn't kill you with it!" James set Lily down and picked up something off the carpet floor.

The woman turned her attention towards me and screamed "HARRY!" I looked at Lily and we burst out laughing. This woman didn't seem the type to be a Potter nut.

"Look, we aren't getting you any autographs," Lily choked out between giggles.

"What happened, Tonks?" a voice called from the kitchen. I started. Tonks? THE Nymphadora Tonks, Teddy's mom, Metamorphagus, war-hero, klutzy, knocks-over-umbrella-stand Tonks?

"Just tell me who you are!" Tonks shouted. People with more wands pointed at us crowded the doorway, spilling out into the hall.

"I'm Al," I said wisely, stepping forward. All of the people turned and looked at a boy my age standing behind a shabby-looking guy with a patched up cloak. A girl with bushy hair screamed.

"That's… me. Over there, but I'm…" the boy trailed off. Suddenly, I remembered a picture of four kids in Mums room. That boy was in it. Mum said he was…

"Dad!" Lily squealed. I groaned.

"Holy crap, James smashed a Time Turner! There isn't supposed to be any left, and now we're in the past, and Lily, damn it, you gave away our position!" I groaned again.

"Al, shut up. We'll just wipe their memories-" James started.

"Watch the taller one!" the shabby man yelled again.

"They said Lily and James," a long haired man said. He looked like that picture of Yaxley Binns showed us in the most exciting History of Magic class in the history of magic. Hollow, with skin stretched all tight. Like Dementors had years to get at him.

"They don't look of age, they can't use magic against us," Granddad said. He looked really weird with red hair.

"Wow, Granddad, lookin' good! Real smokin'!" James said, flashing one of those "Potter Smiles" that makes every girl fall at his feet.

"Oh, shut it, James," Lily said, exasperated. "None of us are of age, although the way James drinks at parties, you'd think he's at least 20." James glared.

"If you aren't of age, how old are you?" the shabby man asked, wand still up.

"Well, I'm 122," James said, chuckling.

"You sound like a git when you laugh at your own jokes," I said, while Lily said "They meant people years, genius."

"Anyways, I'm 15, the idiot's 16, and Little Lily's 12," I said, addressing the shabby man.

"I'm nearly 13! And I'm not little!" Lily pouted.

"Enough chitchat, they're obviously Death Eaters!" a man with a freaky fake eye shouted.

"How do you eat death?" Lily pondered. "You can't exactly cut it with a steak knife, can you?"

"Wait, you mean those whatchamacallits that Dad chucked in Azkaban?" James asked.

"Who IS your Dad?" the fake-eye-guy asked sarcastically.

James glanced at Lily and me before rattling off his standard, bored sounding response. "My Dad's Harry Potter, yes it's exciting, no you can't have his autograph, LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Hello, yes, I DO look a lot like Harry Potter, oh, no, I'm not his son, I'm Barnaby Pickett, what are you, stupid, of course he's my dad you LOSER!" I said flatly.

"Lily Potter, pleased to meet you, yeah, Harry Potter's my dad, yes, my brothers are very fit, aren't they, my dad's happily married, thank you very much," Lily said quickly. By that point, the long haired man was doubled over with laughter and a teenage Uncle Ron (that's really painful to say) grinned and clapped Harry on the shoulder.

"Who's he happily married to?" he asked cheekily. Dad turned red.

"This isn't true!" Fake-eye-guy growled at the same time Lily spilled out "Ginny Weasley!"

Uncle Ron, face completely red, turned around and punched Dad right in the face.

"What was that for?" Dad bellowed, holding his nose.

"You- _did_- my SISTER!" Uncle Ron roared.

Grandmum walked up to Uncle Ron and smacked him upside the head.

"Dinner!"


	3. I take down Mrs Black

James:

I tried to ignore the argument, I swear!

Okay, I didn't. When you're a guy like me, you like to hear things. Of course, no one can even come close to being as smart, funny, smokin' hot… but I'm getting ahead of myself. Those guys in the other room were stomping up a storm, and I wanted in.

"His name is JAMES!" Ooh, juicy stuff. Talking about me. I like that.

"Come on, be serious-"

"You know that isn't funny, Remus." All right, werewolf Lupin, Teddy's dad. Arguing with-

"Sirius, they're lying, you know they are." SIRIUS BLACK? Are you kidding me? I expected to catch a pixie and caught a hippogriff instead!

"But how can you fake looks like that?" You can't, really, I learned about it in Potions. Well, actually, it was Roxie's turn to learn, so I just read her notes.

"Polyjuice Potion." Nah, that was the first thing we tried. You can't alter that stuff; it'll blow up the entire castle. No kidding.

"But the littler Harry looks just like if Lily and James were still alive…" My name again. Lily's name. Saying we were dead. What is going on here?

"I know, but if we can wait for Dumbledore, then we can unmask them. For now, we have to make them think we believe them." We seriously aren't lying. This time my swear actually means something.

"I wonder who they are…" Well, I'm James Sirius Potter, if you want to get legal.

"I'll bet the girl is Lestrange, and maybe-" oh, no. You don't go calling my little sister Lestrange and not get a nice good ass kicking.

"Hold it!" I burst through the door, starling the shaggy haired man and the shabby looking bloke. In the back of my mind, I knew that they were Remus and Sirius, but I was so angry I didn't car. "You don't go calling my sister that foul woman! You take that back right now!" The shabby man raised his wand, just as I remembered that I carry mine around and felt in my pocket.

"Don't move!" he said quickly, but I didn't care.

"You want proof? Proof that we are who we say we are? Well, FINE!" I roared, and pulled the photograph out of my back pocket. The frame had shattered, but I removed the actual photo and stuffed it in my pocket. So that I still had a little Mum and Dad with me. The shaggy guy grabbed the photo and looked at it for a long time.

"The family, 2019," he read off the back. I stepped back, breathing heavily. "Remus, you have to see this."

"Sirius, I do-" Remus started.

"WAIT!" I yelled. "Are you serious!"

"Yeah. I am," Sirius replied.

"Didn't mean it like that, but awesome! I'm James Sirius Potter! Dad told me about the Marauders Map when he gave it to me, only I've got to share with Al and Lily, so that's boring, but I got the Cloak all to myself and I've been trying to become an animagi but it's REALLY hard, and when I finally managed to make a good Patronus it was a dog, just like yours and It's SO cool I'm finally meeting you and-"

"Slow down, Sally." Sirius said. I took a breath. Remus studied the photo in the corner. "Remus, I like the kid. He's-"

"You in miniature, I know. Looks like Ginny, though, now I see it. Got the face. And the photo… it's impossible to fake a photograph like that. Like it or not, they're from the future. Just asking… who's that?" Remus pointed right at Teddy, who's hair turned from turquoise to yellow to flaming orange like most of the children in the picture.

"Oh, that's just Teddy. He's marrying Victoire… she's that one over there…" I pointed to the silvery haired girl next to Uncle Bill.

"And he's not a Weasley?" Remus asked. I started to say something, and then checked myself. Bad James, BAD JAMES! NO MESSING UP THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM!

"I'd… better get up to bed," I said quickly and snatched back the photo. No way was I leaving it there. People see it and then believe me. That photo is magic insurance.

I rushed up the stairs to the room Grandmum had shown Al and I and flopped into the bed after pulling on the pajamas that were on the bed. Thoughts of Mum and Dad frantically running around the house, turning over cushions like they did that time Lily said she hid Mum and Dad's wand and she wasn't telling where until they gave her an ice cream plagued my head. Maybe they contacted Uncle Percy and he's got the entire Ministry on the case. I've always wanted to be a national emergency. As I started to imagine the Muggles getting a hotline to call if they see the kidnapped kids on the street, my mind slipped into blackness, and I fell into a much needed sleep.

XOXOXOXOXO :P

I woke up to the sound of Grandmum fixing breakfast. That wasn't odd in itself, I often spent nights at the burrow and Grandmum isn't as nimble as she used to be and tends to drop pots a lot. Then again, Mum makes a racket with pots as well, but with Mum I'm convinced it's anger issues.

Suddenly, my feet tingled. I sat straight up in bed as the tingling got worse. It was my socks. They felt…

"No no no! This can't be happening!" I whispered, then swore as I whipped the covers off. My socks were maroon! Yesterday's events came spilling back into my head and I groaned. Mum was supposed to make meatloaf that night. And her meatloaf is heaven in a pan.

As I mourned meatloaf, Grandmum yelled up the stairs. I cringed, expecting the screams of Mrs. Black to rid all traces of sleep from the entire house. The only person I've ever known who can sleep through Mrs. Black is Uncle George, but he's only got 1 ear, so I'm sure that helps.

"I'M GOING TO-" Grandmum managed to get out before a certain portrait started harmonizing with the lovely noise Grandmum was emitting.

"FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS-"

"-DIAGON ALLEY-"

"-DISTURBING THE PEACE-"

"-IF ANYONE-"

"-IN MY HOUSE!"

"WANTS TO COME!" I heard the swish of curtains and heavy breathing as the noise died down. I got up, stripped off the terrible socks of doom, and bounded down the stairs. As I hit the bottom, I stumbled and crashed into the wall. To my horror, the curtains swished open again and Mrs. Black opened her ugly mouth to speak.

I beat her to it. "OH, SHUT UP YOU UGLY BANSHEE!" I roared. "YOU'RE A BLOODY PAINTING, DON'T BE CALLING ME FILTHY! WHOEVER PAINTED YOU MUST HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE OR SOMETHING, SINCE YOU ARE PAINFUL TO LOOK AT!" The curtains swung shut, and muffled sobs rang out from behind it.

"You just shut down Mrs. Black," Grandmum said, shocked. I grinned, bowing.

"Sir Potter, knight of shining armor. At your service." Lily snorted from her perch on the banister, her hair a mess. "Hey, a girl with the doxie's nest in her hair shouldn't be talking!" Lily blushed bright red.

"Coming to Diagon Alley dear?" Grandmum asked Lily kindly as she shot me a stern look. What'd I do?

"I'd love to, seeing as I haven't got clothes or anything. Can we stop by and talk to someone who might be able to get us home? Like Headmistress McGonagall or somebody?" Lily asked sweetly. I hate her when she's this adorable.

"Headmistress McGonagall? Oh, dear, we don't have one. I'll take you to Professor Dumbledore, he doesn't know about you three yet, but I'm almost positive that Remus was going to tell him soon, maybe tomorrow or later today. It'll be good to get it out of the way." Grandmum smiled. Al padded out of the kitchen slowly just as a shriek came from upstairs.

"The letters came," he informed us. "And Ron's a prefect." Grandmum stared for a little, then hurried upstairs to congratulate Uncle Wonnikins amazing accomplishment that's WAY too nerdy for the cool cat (cough cough- ME- cough) in school to even be considered for the position.

"So… breakfast?" Al asked, holding out a piece of toast. Al tends to pig out on toast when things aren't right with his world. Judging by the jam stains that smeared his face, this was at least his seventh piece. He enjoys many different kinds of jams.

"Nah, let's go see Dumbledore." Albus dropped the piece of toast that he had probably spent 10 minutes spreading with jam. I'm telling you, the boy takes his jam seriously.

"Aw, man, my toast!" Al cried, reaching down to pick it up.

"How come toast always lands jelly-side down?" Lily mused.

"It's not JELLY! I spread my toast with JAM, you freak!" Al roared.

"Lily, I can't believe you got him into his toast rage! Now look what he's doing!" I scolded. Al started racing around the room, pointing at random objects and screaming "YOU SUCK!" It's like Dad's lasagna rage, only less explicit.

"ALBUS SEVERUS, YOU STOP CALLING THAT BLENDER AN IDIOT!" Lily bellowed. Al froze, staring at Lily as if she had four heads. "What?" Lily asked. "I can yell if I want to!"

"Well, now that Al isn't crazy anymore, let's get on to see Dumbledore and get home." Both Lily and Al perked up a little at this and I reached into the flowerpot painted with flames by the fireplace.

"This is the same one we have," Lily pointed out. "I know since Mum hates the way it contrasts the walls and keeps talking about how she needs to repaint it."

"Why do you notice things like that?" Al asked skeptically. I glared at both of them and pulled them into the fireplace alongside me.

I don't know about you, but I absolutely despise Floo Powder. If you don't like standing in ash while you spin in circles and bang into things. It's an irrational fear (note the sarcasm). As I threw the powder on the floor of the fireplace, I realized that I didn't know where to go. I decided to improvise, and from what little things Dad had told me about how he saved the world and stuff, Dumbledore was the Headmaster of Hogwarts and died in Dad's sixth year. From what I gather of this situation, it's Dad's fifth year. So if Dumbledore's anywhere, it'll most likely be his office, it's only two days until school starts.

I don't mean to brag, but that only took me like 5 seconds to think. I got 10 OWLS. Beat that, sucker.

"God, I hate Flooing," I coughed as I stepped out of the fireplace. Lily smiled up and me and squeezed my hand.

"And God, I hate you," Albus said, grinning. "Couldn't pass it up, mate."

"You must be the time travelers," a silver haired man said kindly from the corner. He looked like a really tall stick figure of Santa Clause. Minus the sack, of course.

"Yes, we… are supposed to live in 2020, but SOMEONE dropped a Time Turner-" Lily started.

"Hey, if Dad had listened to Mum about the stupid carpet issue, we'd all be fine!" I cried. "But NO, Dad needed special floors for his secret office where he works to save the world!" Yeah, sometimes I absolutely despise having a dad who goes to work every morning with his best friend and they work together, saving the world and getting in danger just like they did at school together. I wish I was my dad's best friend, the person he wants to spend all his time with. But instead of making him proud, I'm grounded whenever he has a day off, and all he can say is "James, really?" He hangs out with Al all the time, and they look like brothers, joking around. Lily is his little angel, and he's always chatting with her and hugging her and buying her things. I feel like a third wheel, like I never should've been born. I spend a lot of time with Uncle Ron, though. He gets it all. Oh, now I'm mind rambling and I didn't hear a word Dumbledore just said.

"JAMES!" Lily screamed. "Professor Dumbledore wants to know our full names. He says his is Albus-"

"Like mine!" Al put in. Lily glared.

"-Percy-something, Wolfy, Brain Dumbledore," Lily said, bowing. "It's a long name."

"Close," Dumbledore said, half smiling. "It's Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but I admire the try."

"Well, I know my name is Lily Luna Potter," Lily said stubbornly. "And I know you won't believe that it's even remotely true that Harry Potter's my dad because he hasn't killed Voldemort yet."

"So he does," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. That was when I got a good look at his eyes. They were electric blue, and seemed to twinkle even when in the shadow of his ridiculously tall pointed hat that read "Don't cross me, I'm a witch when I'm angry."

"Liking the hat, sir," I said, grinning. Dumbledore laughed softly.

"This? Oh, borrowed it from Minerva. It makes me giggle every time I look at it." Dumbledore dusted off the brim absentmindedly. "Muggle thing. They think it's funny."

"Well, let's get back to this full name thing," Lily said loudly, glancing at Al with a grin. "Al, I know you ADORE yours, lets hear it!"

"Albusseveruspotter," Al muttered quickly.

"Ah, Albus. A fine name. One of the best, I believe. And Severus. It's… unusual, yet you're named after some fine, _fine_ men, rest assured. And you, young man?" Dumbledore inspected me from beneath his half moon spectacles.

"James Sirius Potter, prankster, co-founder of The Descendants, along with the Foxiest of all Roxy's, Fred Weasley II, and the ever-adorable Kristopher Shacklebolt," I said, bowing deeply. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"El gusto es mio," Dumbledore said, stroking his moustache. He flicked his wand and the hat on his head turned into a sombrero.

"Encantado," Al replied, grinning.

"Igualemente," Dumbledore said excitedly. "You speak Spanish?"

"A little," Al said modestly. "Well, mostly I study Latin, so that it's easier to remember the spells for Charms, since the roots come from Latin, and I had a knack for it, and I picked up Spanish, Italian and French. I want to work with other magical countries and schools and promote magical cooperation."

"A fine career choice, my boy, a fine one indeed. Now, back to the reason you are here," Dumbledore said softly.

"James did it!" Lily burst out.

"Great, blame the oldest!" I shot back. "You were the one who called me in the office in the first place! It's your fault as much as mine!"

"Can't argue with that," Al concluded.

"I don't know how to send you three home. You will have to stay in this time period for the time being," Dumbledore interjected. "Remus and Sirius sent a patronus saying that James had a photograph.."

"Oh- yeah, hold on, I've got it right here… where is it… oh, I got it," I handed the slightly crumpled photo to Dumbledore.

"Gemino," Dumbledore said and tapped it with his wand. "Thank you," he said, and handed it back to me. He kept the real one, I noticed. Maybe trying to find out its secrets or something.

"So you'll attend Hogwarts, and since having people know you are the children of Harry Potter will create pandemonium, you three will be the Parkers. Allen, Jake and Lydia, who's parents suddenly disappeared and your Aunt decided to send you to Hogwarts. When I find a way for you to return home, I will wipe everyone's memory except my own. Did your father ever tell you anything about the war? I need to know." Dumbledore looked pointedly at me.

"Well, he told me I'd get the full story when I'm seventeen. But I heard him tell Mum once that he was glad you were right about him or he would've died for real, which makes absolutely no sense," I said, remembering lurking behind the door when I was five.

"I believe you don't have any school supplies?" Dumbledore asked,

"We have to keep our wands with us at all times," I explained. "There could still be people who want revenge out there, and we have to be ready."

"I got kidnapped once," Lily piped up. "I was six. A crazy Potter fan wanted Dad's autograph in exchange for me. She's locked up in St. Mungos now, with a Harry Potter autographed photo she's trying to get legally married to. It was all over the papers." God, I remember that. She came back in a black tutu over her jeans and her hair in a million ponytails. That lady is a psycho.

"So all you have is your wands, correct?" We all nodded. "I will supply you with enough money to buy what you need. One more thing. Try to get used to calling your relatives by their first names only. And try to catalog what happens, it might be a major breakthrough in magic."

So that's why we're taking turns doing this. I'm sure Lily's saying that it's all my fault, and Al's drooling over all the history, but I'm just hoping I get to get away with a nice good prank on whatever Malfoy's in this time period.

As I started to walk away, I recalled everything I needed to know. Parents are dead, Aunt wants us to go to Hogwarts, I have two pesky younger siblings (nothing new there) names Allen and Lydia.

Hogwarts, brace yourself for Jake Parker. And Jake Parker, brace yourself for some more Floo Powder. Urgh.

**A/N: I hope this chapter isn't too bad, but it took me forever to write since I needed to include the argument AND the Dumbledore meeting, so it's really long… **

**PLEASE CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON!**


	4. Ew, Prefects

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long… I got caught up with my other multi-chapter fic. I is sorry. **

**~Emullz**

Lily:

Diagon Alley was boring. You'd think getting all our books would be exciting and fun like it always was for Dad (no, Lily, his name is HARRY), but I've always viewed Diagon Alley as just another place for the Paparazzi to hound us and for James to do something messed up and put our reputations in danger and just make Harry and Ginny (that is WEIRD) mad at everyone.

So I have a fair reason for disliking Diagon Alley. Or just thinking it's boring, rather.

At least James found out that Dumbledore gave us about 100 extra Galleons and he took us over to Quality Quidditch Supplies and we all got brooms so we could try out for Quidditch. Or at least fly around the Pitch sometimes since Gryffindor's already got quite a Quidditch Team, I've heard. About a million times when Dad tells me.

"You can get the Nimbus 2000," James told me quietly.

"Yay, James!" I squealed.

"Jake!" he hissed at me. "And be cool, you don't know who's watching."

"Oh my God, James, you're acting like those stupid Muggle 'CIA' people who think they can spy without an Invisibility Cloak! Just shut your face and act normal!" Al said, punching him lightly. James scowled. He looked so stupid, I just had to laugh. The somber people in the shop looked at me like I was some kind of loon. Nope, sorry, I was named after the famous Loony Lovegood, but I'm not her! Move along, folks.

"That boy is smiling at you," James growled. "And now he's coming over here," I looked up and saw a smiling boy, tall, with dreadlocks. I grinned back.

"Hello. I'm Lee Jordan." I shook the offered hand.

"Lydia Peterson. Nice to meet you." I remembered my manners. Mum would be so proud.

"It's nice to hear people laughing in times like these," Lee said shoving his hand in his pocket casually.

"It's nice to see someone who doesn't look at me like I'm crazy for having a sense of humor," I countered.

"I like you," Lee said flat out. "Got a real sense of humor. Haven't seen one of those right out in a while. Now, just curious, who's Grumpy over there?"

"Him? My brother, Jake. He's just upset he has to come to Hogwarts. Mum made him, thinks it's safe here with Dumbledore and all. He had to leave his 'Partners in Crime'- his words, not mine- at home. He's just angry right now. Needs new pranking buddies."

"I can help with that, " Lee said, rubbing his hands together. "I will go cheer him up, and then we can wreak some havoc." I smiled. Good. James was out of my hair, one brother to go. Then I can go buy that Broom Care Kit I'm not allowed to get with a Galleon I'm not supposed to have.

Except Al was being impossible. Ten minutes later and they boy still won't budge. I guess the Care Kit's a bust. Great.

"Lydia, we're going," James called, waving goodbye to Lee. "We put a toad in one of the girls toilets. I can't stick around to enjoy it, sadly."

"That's just wonderful, James. I was planning on going in there." I shuddered. Knowing me, I'd fall in once it jumped at me. I'm not the most stable person on the ground. Grandmum- oh, sorry, _Mrs. Weasley_- stood outside by the Fish and Chips place. My mouth was watering by the time we got over to her. I handed her the broom she had asked me to buy for Ron- really, it wasn't a very good broom at all, I could've bought a better one with my pocket money.

"I've gotten everything," Mrs. Weasley said briskly. "I'll take you three home using Side-Along-Apparation, if that's all right with you? I need to set up the party for Ron… and Hermione of course, and Hermione." I started to object and ask about Floo Powder when she took a viselike grip on my arm and I was suddenly, accompanied by a loud crack, outside on Grimmauld Place.

I hate Apparation. The feeling of all the air being squeezed out of my lungs, the loud, disruptive CRACK you leave behind, the imbalance you feel as your feet hit solid ground again (which, for me, means I'm on the ground. Like I said, I'm quite clumsy). I practically beg Mum to let me go ahead with Floo Powder, and ever since the incident when I was seven and I'd eaten one to many hamburgers, she was usually sympathetic.

"You okay, Lills?" James asked as we hit the floor- well, I hit the floor. Everyone else stayed on their feet.

"Yeah, I think so," I said, grinning ruefully as Al helped me up. He held onto my hand as we walked into Number 12.

"Can't do this tomorrow," Al said, swinging my hand around. "You'll be a teenager. Won't have any time for your poor brother." I gasped. I had completely forgotten it was my birthday tomorrow! My birthday's September 1st, the same day the Hogwarts Express took James, Albus, and then finally me off to Hogwarts every year. Teddy'd missed all my birthdays up to my eighth. Which, of course, had to be the day James left for Hogwarts, which meant that I never really had all my family members at home at any given birthday. Except that time I was actually born. But that's not fair, since there wasn't any cake or candles or anything.

"I forgot your present," James said. Then he cursed.

"James!" I said. "I haven't even heard that listening to Wizard Trampoline!"

"You listen to Wizard Trampoline!" James shouted incredulously. "They're, you know… Heavy metal!"

"Quibia likes them," I said slowly. "And she's weird. You know that, right?" Al and James nodded. Quibia is the weirdest person I know, but seeing as she's Luna Lovegoods daughter, I'm not surprised.

"She likes hugging people she doesn't know," James said, shuddering. I laughed. Al laughed. James tried to look wounded. He eventually started laughing as well. I think it was the stress of the fact that we were all alone in some freaky time period. And now James is older than Dad and Voldemort's alive and may kill us and to be honest I don't want to be dead, I just want to be home.

And now that I've gotten my feelings down on paper I should probably explain what happens next.

So Aunt- Hermione walks in the doorway and suddenly I'm on James's back and Al is under the chair in the corner and we look ridiculous. And then Al says something totally out of the blue about House Elf suffrage and they're talking about rights and I can't follow it and I'm going to die of boredom trying to write this all down.

Basically Al and Hermione are having some kind of educated discussion while James and I are mocking them and rolling our eyes in the background. Fun times.

"I can't take much more of this," James mouthed at me.

"I got it," I whispered back. But before I could do anything, a delicious smell invaded my nose.

"Dinner!" Mrs. Weasley (YES! I got it!) called softly. She didn't have to bother, I'm pretty sure Mrs. Black was still traumatized from when James screamed at her. I've been telling Mum to get him counseling for his anger, but she just doesn't listen…

"Saved by the bell," James muttered as we walked into the dining room, causing me to smile.

The smile dropped off my face as I saw the banner hanging across the entire length of the wall. "'Congratulations Ron and Hermione, new Gryffindor Prefects?'" James and I said incredulously as Fred and George Apparated next to us with the usual CRACK. I started.

"Yeah, isn't it-" George said. It's weird when he has an ear. I've seen pictures, but I thought they were faked or something.

"-just awful-" Fred went on.

"-another prefect-" Now George.

"-to disgrace the family name," Fred finished.

"Yeah, it's-" James started.

"-bad enough that-" I interrupted, hoping he would catch on.

"-Victoire, Louis, Molly and Teddy-" James said, grinning.

"-already got the bloody badge!" Fred and George laughed.

"Looks like we've met out match," Fred stated. God, he looks just like OUR Fred.

"Who are Victoire, Loius, Molly and Teddy?" Mum (no, it's GINNY! Bad Lily! BAD LILY!) asked. Bill, Harry (God, I feel like his sister or something,) and Mr. Weasley drifted closer to hear what we were about to say.

"Victoire and Louis are our cousins," I said slowly, picking through what it was alright to say.

"Bill and Fleurs kids!" James burst out. Bill turned white. "And Molly is Percy's daughter-"

"WHAT?" Fred roared. Mr. Weasley dropped the glass he was holding and Ginny (still weird) turned white.

"What?" James asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Percy isn't- on speaking terms with the family at the moment," Ginny said tightly. It was the same tone of voice she got when she talked about Michael Corner, her ex-boyfriend who called her a- something mean- to Luna at the Christmas Party last year. It was terrible.

"But he's so- family obsessive now!" James said incredulously. "He lives with Grandmum and Granddad and he never misses anybody's birthday party or anything! He got demoted from work when he came to Hugo's 7th birthday!" Mr. Weasley looked shocked. Ginny and Bill looked thrilled.

"Anyways, Molly got Ravenclaw Prefect, and it looks like Lucy's got it in the bag for being the girl from Hufflepuff," I said, wrinkling my nose. "I, on the other hand, have no intentions of getting that bloody badge. I have better things to do than patrol corridors all the time. And James didn't get it. Too many suits of armor dressed in McGonagalls- undergarments- for him to even be considered." Fred and George chuckled.

"And Teddy," Mr. Weasley prompted.

"Teddy's- well, I've never met his parents. They don't ever come around and I don't think they're alive the way Teddy gets when he talks about them. You said I'd get the full story when I'm seventeen." James glared at Harry (still awkward) and Harry shrugged. "But his full name is Teddy Remus Lupin, and he's getting married to Victiore next fall. He lives with Miss 'Dromeda and he comes 'round for dinner every Sunday since you're his Godfather." Harry beamed, then his face fell.

"But his parents… are dead?" he asked sadly.

"They don't ever come around if they're alive," I said simply. "But Teddy's one of my favorite people. That only includes Colin, Maggie, Quibia, Alice, and Cory," I said happily.

"And who are they," Mr. Weasley asked politely.

"Colin and Maggie Creevey, Alice Longbottom, Quibia Scamander (Luna's daughter) and Scorpius Malfoy," I replied.

"Did you just say Malfoy?" Harry asked quietly.

Oops.


	5. PreHogwarts Night

ALBUS:

I heard a cry of "no, Cory's nice!" and I knew immediately what was up. Lily, the blabbermouth, went and told Ron all about I'm best friends with a genetic abnormality of a Malfoy, seeing how he's in Gryffindor and has a giant crush on my little sister- which lots of people would think that I'd squish it out of him, but Scor's a nice kid. He's not going to do anything to her.

"Lily, why'd you have to go and tell on Scorpius!" I growled at her. "And don't spin me some cock-and-bull story about how James brought it up! I don't want to hear it!"

"He did bring it up!" Lily accused, pouting. "He told them about Teddy and his parents!" I whipped my head around to look at James.

"You did NOT!" I roared. "I can't be around you every second of the day to make sure you don't mess up the stupid space-time continuum, so maybe if you just settled down and stopped being such a freaking idiot, we could get something done!"

James blinked at me once. I knew what that meant. "I'm turning in," I muttered, stomping hard on the first two steps I took as my signal to Lily. As I stormed up I could hear Lily telling the adults that she was going to calm me down and James chasing after her telling everyone that he would get Lily because we were to leave me alone to simmer down.

When they reached the hallway, I grabbed them both and pulled them into Ginny's room. "Moody's eye can see through it, he'll know we're up to something when you and Lily are with me instead of outside my door, arguing. We need to do magic."

"Someone's going to catch us," James sighed, twirling his wand around in his fingers. Mum had nearly snapped that one when she found out that he turned Lily's skin bright pink and didn't know the countercurse.

"They'll have no idea, and if they do we'll say we needed to or else someone might hear something that tips the balance of the whole world!" Lily said, her eyes shining. "Come on, James, now when we get back, we can tell the whole school how we used magic at home and didn't get caught!"

"I don't understand why you take pride in these things," I sighed, plopping down on the floor. "_Mufflatio_!" I whispered, pointing my wand at the floor. "Now, does either of you know Latin?"

"Why on Earth would we know Latin?" Lily asked, as James shook his head.

"Spell roots, ancient text translations- there's whole worlds of possibilities!" I cried. Honestly, how am I related to these people?

"Honestly, how am I related to you?" James groaned. "No, we don't know Latin. Why do you want to know?"

"Because I caught about 3 of the words on the time turner as it fell. They seemed… shimmery, like they were only glowing for a moment before they fell. But I remember them, it said 'Cum praeterita salvus.'"

"I hate that you have a photographic memory," Lily grumbled. "I'm getting T's in History of Magic. It's not fair."

"Es la vida," I told her, expecting the hairy eyeball she sent shooting back at me, but not expecting the tickling hex that came with it.

I choked out the countercurse and rolled onto my stomach. "So when we find them out, I assume that we find out how we get home," I told them. "Now we need to find a English/Latin Pocket Dictionary."

"Let's make it to school tomorrow, and then we can free ourselves. Remember, the longer we delay, the longer our grades don't count," Lily advised us.

"This is why I'm proud to call this girl my sister," James added. I rolled my eyes. "And why I deny that he's my brother."

"I'm firmly convinced that you really aren't my brother," I told James. "You're arrogant, sly, attempt to be funny and epically fail- and did I mention that you're a complete pain in the-"

"Don't go there, little brother!" James said, grinning.

"Guys?" Lily asked, suddenly serious. "Can I sleep in you guys' room tonight?" I finally took a good look at her face. Terror seemed to make a mask over the cheerful features that had gotten her out of so much trouble over the years.

"Yeah, Lils," I told her, pulling her into a hug. "I wouldn't want to hit the thirteen mark alone either."

"And Moody's scary. He could be watching us sleep right now." James shuddered. Lily gave a watery chuckle.

"Hey, as of midnight I'm eligible to date that guy!" Lily told him, pulling away from me and swatting at James.

"Anyone but him," James said, eyes going wide. "I've already warned about half the school you're off limits, so in our time period you'd be safer-"

"Well then I'm glad I have at least a day of shameless flirting with people who aren't scared out of their wits to date me because of my git of a brother," Lily smiled, pulling James's arms around her.

"You better not ask me out," James warned her, keeping a straight face. I could see the smile in his eyes, though. I've only ever seen that smile go out twice in my lifetime.

"Darn, I was certain you'd say yes," Lily played along, dancing into my arms. "I'll take Al to the prom instead."

"I'm gay," I said pushing her back at James. "And he's hopelessly in love. I'd take Pigwideon, if I were you."

"It's not as if I wouldn't believe you if you told me you were gay, but I have caught you kissing Kristina Shacklebolt underneath the Quidditch stands before one of your matches, so don't even try me," Lily said slyly. My mouth flew open. One, I am NOT gay! Why would she say she would believe me? And how did she find out that Kristina and I kissed under the bleachers.

"And I know what you're thinking," Lily added. "I saw you two as I was taking Colin to find slugs for a Herbology Project that was due the next day. You know I always cut it close."

"Who am I hopelessly in love with?" James asked me, eyes narrowed. "And why were you kissing Kris's little sister?"

"Oh, I've seen the way you talk to Hedwig since we got here. You're head over heels!" Lily giggled as I pretended to swoon and fall over.

"I'm going to bed," James grumbled.

"Suit yourself," I told him. "Break the ritual! Don't stay up until 12:00 so we can sing happy birthday!"

"Let's go wash up," Lily suggested. "Dumbledore's at Hogwarts. The only thing we can do now is act like it's a regular school year."

"Summer vacation is much too short," James summed up, grinning.

"You say that every year," I put in, knowing exactly what Lily was going to say next, and has said since she was nine. It's been true for every year since then.

"That's because he sleeps the whole time!" The words left a strange feeling of comfort, and warmed me from the tip of my head to the tip of my toes. James hefted Lily up like a sack of potatoes, and I dragged the blankets and pillows out into the hallway, for our "annual pre-Hogwarts pump-up blanket-fort partay."

Everything seemed how it used to be, with us giggling under the blankets, and ragging on the Slytherin Quidditch team. It wasn't until we were all asleep that I realized- the thing I was missing?

It was Mum coming upstairs to tell us to go to bed, but ending up under the covers with us, laughing and telling stories of her days at Hogwarts. It was Dad laying out what seemed to be miles long of ice cream toppings, and we'd drip our banana splits up the staircase with Mum behind us tidying up. It was Teddy, telling scary stories and collaborating with Dad so that the fort collapsed on us at the scary parts. Dad and Mum kissing in the hallway when they thought we weren't looking, but we were just making sure that they were still as in love as they were when they first met.

I was missing home.

**All right. It has been FOREVER since I updated this story. And I am sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! And if you stopped reading- well, I'd say your loss but if this wasn't my story, I probably would've stopped reading too. **

**This was a fluff chapter. IT. WAS. FLUFFY. Because I was watching a super deep show on TV (Awake- you seen it?). **

**Well I'm tired. Wimpy, but yes. I want to sleep.**


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